Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
