Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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