Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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