No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
