you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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