He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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