she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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