its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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