put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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