she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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