I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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