you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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