If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
