Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Whod you bang

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(440): View more from Ohio

Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day

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(785): View more from Kansas

We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing

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(256): View more from Alabama

I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about

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(518): View more from New York

just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.

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(513): View more from Ohio

We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on

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