It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
