laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
