i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize