Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize