talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
