dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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