i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
