you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
