so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
