Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
