eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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