I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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