I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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