hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
