Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
