I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
