the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
