This girl is more easily done than said...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
