There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
