Pregnant stripper...not hot.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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