just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
