I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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