Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Randomize
