stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
