Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize