I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize