I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
