aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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