That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
