I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Randomize
