I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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