is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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