I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize