Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
