Need sex. Gaining weight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
