glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
