so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
