If i come over, it means nothing
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
