And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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