he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
