He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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