Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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